Building Relationships with Your Clients’ Adult Children and Next‑Generation Heirs

In this post, we will address three important questions:

1. Why does building these relationships matter?

We know that, on average, women live about four years longer than men. In many families, the husband traditionally manages the finances. If the advisor never truly engaged the spouse as a client, the chances are high that she will leave and seek a new advisor after her husband passes away.

The same dynamic applies when both parents pass away and wealth transitions to the next generation. If you haven’t already established trust and familiarity with the adult children, it becomes almost certain that the family will move on to a different advisor. Without these relationships in place before tragedy strikes, it becomes extremely difficult to retain the family as clients.

2. What are you going to offer them?

Ideally, you should engage adult children before they choose their own advisor—and well before any crisis occurs. But adult children often have limited assets, meaning reduced fee potential in the short term. Some may also be challenging to work with, so advisors must decide whether they truly want them as clients.

This requires clarity around your value proposition.

Will you provide the same services you offer their parents?

Likely not.

In that case, it’s helpful to define and explain the different service tiers so expectations are clear from the beginning.

3. How do you build these relationships?

“Wisdom should come before wealth.” Parents should consider whether they’ve instilled the right values in their children to prepare them to be responsible stewards of family wealth.

A natural way to begin is to engage the adult child when they start their first job. Offer to meet with the parents and the child together to walk through the five foundational principles of financial planning:

1. Live within your means.

2. Avoid debt as much as possible.

3. Pay taxes on time.

4. Create margin and save for the long term.

5. Be generous—generosity helps guard against the pitfalls of wealth.

It’s also helpful to explore the question, “Who owns it all?”

Some may say “I own it,” others “We own it,” and families of faith may answer, “God owns it all.” This conversation sets an important perspective for healthy financial stewardship.

You can then offer to create a basic financial plan for the adult child and invite them to meet annually. This reinforces the five principles and helps them stay on track.

The Outcome

Through this approach, you build deep trust not only with your clients but also with their children—strengthening long-term relationships and preserving the family connection across generations.